


Reservation

by Improvise22



Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Drinking, Drug Addiction, Family, Hurt/Comfort, Past Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:15:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27631940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Improvise22/pseuds/Improvise22
Summary: TK gets an unexpected phone call which sends him spiraling. Will he relapse again?
Comments: 6
Kudos: 74





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My first 9-1-1 Lone Star piece, hope you like it. I love TK and think his character has so many layers to write about. I also love his relationship with Judd and think it's worth exploring.  
> Oh also I'm terrible with title's!!

The day was coming to an end and the 126 were gathered in the common area each doing their own thing. TK was watching Paul and Marjan tease Mateo, he had a crush on someone they’d rescued, and the others weren’t letting it go. He didn’t know if he should join in or save the kid from the embarrassment. Just as he was about to get up and go over to them, his phone rang.

He frowned, not recognising the number but noticing it was coming from New York.

“Hello,” TK answered, nervous to hear who it was.

“Good afternoon Mr Strand, my name is Rebecca and I’m calling about your reservation,” the woman on the other end of the phone said.

TK listened to the words, confused. “Reservation?”

“Yes, for two nights at The Whitby.”

TK froze, the day he’d made that reservation coming back to him, he couldn’t believe he’d forgotten.

“I’m sorry but I won’t be needing that room after all,” TK replied, sinking back into the couch cushions.

“The reservation is for this weekend,” Rebecca explained. “Cancelling now isn’t an option I’m afraid.”

“Well I don’t know what to tell you,” TK answered, closing his eyes. “No one will be coming.”

He listened as Rebecca continued to explain their cancellation policy, he really wanted to hang up, but was too polite to do such a thing, it wasn’t her fault that he wasn’t up for the conversation.

“Perhaps your partner could still take the room.”

TK’s eyes shot open and his breath quickened a little. “No.”

“I have his number on file, I would be happy to give him a call,” Rebecca carried on, oblivious to the upset she was causing.

TK didn’t want to deal with this, why couldn’t she just take no for an answer and hang up, why did she have to bring Alex into this. He could feel himself starting to shake, he hadn’t thought about his ex-boyfriend in a while, hadn’t thought about what had happened between them and what it had led to. He tensed as someone sat next to him, closing his eyes again when the phone was taken from his hand.

“Afternoon, can I ask who I’m speaking to,” Judd spoke.

He had been walking past when TK had answered the phone, not paying any attention until the last word he spoke, he had looked over and realised that something about the call was upsetting his friend. Sitting next to him carefully he had decided that he would take over the call and save TK from dealing with it.

“This is Rebecca from The Whitby hotel. I was talking to Mr Strand.”

“He had to step away, can I ask what this call is about?”

“Mr Strand has a reservation for this weekend. I was explaining that our policy doesn’t allow for cancellations so close to the booking.”

“I appreciate that, unfortunately Mr Strand is now living in Texas, there isn’t anyway for him to make the trip. I’m sure you’d be able to give the room to someone else,” Judd replied, wondering why TK had made a reservation.

“I see, well that is a little far to come,” Rebecca said. “I did offer to call his partner, I’m sure he would be happy to take the room.”

Judd now understood why TK was upset, he’d clearly booked the room for himself and his ex and had forgotten all about it.

“I would appreciate it if you didn’t. They’re not together anymore. Thank you for calling and I’m sorry for the circumstances, I hope you can understand,” Judd answered, hanging up before Rebecca could reply.

Judd sat the phone down on the table and then turned to TK, he still looked upset but seemed to be over the initial shock.

“You ok?” Judd asked.

TK nodded, turning to look at his friend. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” Judd replied, not believing that TK was fine for a second. “Now, do you wanna tell me how ya really feel?”

“Like an idiot,” TK said, sitting forward. “I can’t believe I forgot about it.”

“It happens,” Judd answered, waiting silently for TK to carry on.

“I booked the room ages a go, it’s Alex’s birthday Saturday and I figured we’d be happy and engaged, or even married if we did things quickly,” TK explained. “I wanted it to be a surprise. It didn’t even occur to me he might say no.”

“Why would it?” Judd replied, not liking that his friend was upset.

“I should have waited, waited until after I’d proposed!” TK exclaimed. “I’m so stupid.”

“No, don’t say that. You were in love, you were excited, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

TK nodded, he knew that Judd was right, he had no way of knowing that his boyfriend had been cheating on him, as far as he was concerned they loved each other, and they’d be together forever.

“You know I’m gonna have to still pay for that hotel,” TK said sighing, closing his eyes when he realised how much it would be.

“Call them later, try and work something out,” Judd replied. “Maybe they’ll understand.”

The two of them sat for a little while until the alarm went off, both jumping up ready to go, Alex and the hotel put to the back of their minds. A few hours later and they were all going their separate ways, TK feeling better and ready to forget he’d even had a phone call.

“If you need anything you let me know,” Judd said, walking with TK to his car.

“Thanks Judd. I’ll see you later.”

TK walked away, leaving Judd to drive off, he turned and headed to his place, thankful that the house he shared with his father was close by. He walked through the door and switched on the light, dropping his bag and making his way to his bedroom. He decided to shower and then make something for dinner, none of them had a chance to eat at the station and he was starting to feel rather hungry.

An hour later and he was dishing up a bowl of pasta, he wasn’t exactly good in the kitchen, but he could cook the basics. Just as he was about to take his dinner to the table his phone rang. He prayed that it wasn’t the hotel calling back again, breathing a sigh of relief when it wasn’t.

“Hello,” he answered, again not recognising the number.

“Hey TK,” came the reply, the bowl dropping to the floor.

“Alex?”

“Yeah, it’s been a while.”

TK froze, he couldn’t believe his ex was on the phone, couldn’t believe how casual he sounded, like the last time they saw each other had ended differently. He managed to sit down, not knowing how the conversation was going to go, wishing that he could just hang up.

“TK, are you there?” Alex asked, the silence had obviously been too long.

“I’m here,” TK replied, glad that his voice sounded steady. “What do you want?”

“I got a call from The Whitby,” Alex said, causing TK to clench his fist, he couldn’t believe the hotel had called him. “I’m guessing you booked it for my birthday. It’s definitely something you would do.”

TK wished his ex would get to the point, he was not in the mood to reminisce, it was still too raw.

“I wanted to let you know that I’m gonna use the room,” Alex continued. “It’s a shame to let it go to waste.”

“Use it?” TK questioned, not believing what he was hearing.

“Yeah, Mitchell and I are getting serious, it’d be a nice thing for the two of us.”

Alex’s words became muffled as TK’s breathing quickened and his vision became blurry, he let the phone slip out of his fingers as he thought about what he’d just heard. Alex was taking his new boyfriend to the hotel that TK had booked, the hotel that they were supposed to go to together, after they were engaged.

TK got up and started pacing, tears were falling, and he was suddenly transported back to that night he’d had his heart broken. The way he felt, the need to make it all go away, the relief he felt when he’d taken the pills.

He grabbed his phone, he needed to talk to someone, needed to stop the thoughts running through his head. Alex’s call had disconnected which TK was grateful for. He looked through his contacts, his finger hovering over his father’s number. Owen was at a conference, he didn’t need a frantic call from his son ruining his time away, he barely had time for himself and TK couldn’t burden him with his problems. He scrolled through the names until he came to Carlos, he desperately wanted to call him, knowing that his voice would calm him, but they hadn’t talked much recently, he didn’t even know what their relationship was.

TK dropped the phone; he would have to deal with things himself. He decided to busy himself, clean up the mess he’d made in the kitchen, hope that it took his mind off things. It didn’t help, the thoughts and feelings were still raging, and he knew the only thing to make it stop was something he couldn’t do. He sat for a while against the wall in the kitchen, knees pulled up to his chest, arms wrapped around them and his face resting on top. The tears wouldn’t stop, and his mind wouldn’t switch off, he was shaking, and he knew that if he didn’t do something soon things would only get worse.

Pulling himself up he staggered to the hall, opening the cupboard and turning on the light, reaching into the back where he knew his father had stored the alcohol. He pulled out a bottle of whiskey and pulled off the top, putting it to his lips and drinking, he was desperate to numb his senses. After the bottle was half empty he stopped and stared at the bottle, if possible feeling worse than he did before.

He frantically put the lid back on and stuffed it back, leaving the cupboard and hitting the wall behind him. He was weak, pathetic, he couldn’t even handle a simple phone call without giving in to his urges. He knew without a doubt that he would have taken Oxy if they’d been some in the house, he was an addict after all, apparently not strong enough to stay away from it.

He moved through the house, grabbing his phone and keys, going out into the night and locking the door behind him. He needed to get away, needed to be around people. Being alone was never good, his thoughts overtook him, and he did stupid things. He stood on his front lawn and looked from left to right, not knowing which direction to go in. If he went to a bar or club then he would drink for sure, he might even buy drugs. He could go to a café; he never did eat but at that time of night he didn’t know how busy they’d be. There was no point going to one if it was empty.

His body decided on a direction and he started walking, hoping that just the act of it would help.

“How did you like being in charge today?” Grace asked, sitting next to her husband on the couch.

“It was fine,” Judd replied. “Don’t wanna make a habit of it though.”

“Lucky Owen will be back next shift then.”

Judd nodded, putting his arm around his wife’s shoulder. “That it is.”

Grace smiled, she knew Judd was more than capable of running a fire house, he just didn’t want to, never had and she wasn’t sure if he ever would. She was about to open her mouth to question him about it when there was a knock on the door. She frowned, turning to her husband.

“Who could that be?”

“No clue,” Judd replied, standing up. “Stay here.”

He made his way to the door, not sure what he would find on the other side, they never had late visitors. He opened the door and was confused by who was standing in front of him.

“TK?”

“I didn’t know where else to go,” TK replied, looking up at his friend.

“Get in here,” Judd said, stepping aside and then putting his hands on his friend’s shoulders. “What happened? Are you hurt?”

TK shook his head, he wasn’t sure how to answer the question, he was already regretting his decision to come, Judd had no idea what had happened in his past, wouldn’t know how to help. It just seemed the most logical thing to do.

“Judd, what’s going on?” Grace asked, coming towards them.

“It’s TK,” Judd replied. “Something’s wrong.”

TK looked over to Grace and started to pull away from Judd’s hold. “I shouldn’t have come, I’m sorry.”

“Hey now, none of that,” Judd said. “You are family, and family is always welcome.”

TK looked at him and seeing the genuine worry in his eyes he nodded, letting himself be led into the living room.

“Have you been drinking?” Judd asked, once they were sitting.

TK felt his eyes fill, nodding he ducked his head as he felt tears trail his cheeks. He was so upset with himself; he had been so stupid.

“Do you wanna tell me why?” Judd questioned.

He knew that TK didn’t drink and there was speculation around the house as to why, none of them asked, but they knew that something was going on. So, Judd knew that something must have happened, his friend, his brother was sitting in front of him reeking of booze, shaking and clearly upset. He immediately realised that TK wasn’t wearing a coat and that the temperature had dropped outside when he had made his way home, the kid must be freezing. He reached over and grabbed a blanket they kept for similar occasions, pulling it around TK’s shoulders.

Sitting back Judd waited patiently for TK to start talking, hoping that he felt safe enough to explain what was going on. His wife had left them alone which he was grateful for, he wasn’t sure how TK would feel explaining what had happened to them both.

“Alex called,” TK said, pulling the blanket tightly around him. “The hotel contacted him.”

“I’m sorry TK, they shouldn’t have done that,” Judd replied, thinking he might have to contact them himself.

“He’s gonna use the room,” TK whispered. “With his new boyfriend.”

“Son of a….” Judd trailed off, not knowing how TK would react. “I’m sorry.”

It was obvious the kid was a mess; he was still shaking, and Judd could tell he was crying. He did the only thing he thought might work, he pulled his friend in for a hug. Pulling him close as he felt TK sink into his embrace.

“I’m sorry,” TK kept saying.

“You’ve got nothing to be sorry about kid,” Judd replied, finally pulling away and lifting TK’s chin up. “It’s ok to be upset.”

“No, it’s weak and pathetic, I’m so stupid,” TK said. “And I’ve let dad down, he’s gonna be so disappointed.”

“TK, I won’t have you talk about yourself like that in my house,” Judd exclaimed. “Is that clear.”

TK stopped and looked at his friend, knowing that he wouldn’t feel that way once he knew the truth.

“What aren’t you telling me?”

TK sighed, he would have to tell him, he knew Judd wouldn’t understand without an explanation. “I’m an addict.”

Judd sat back and let TK talk before he interrupted, he had wondered if that might have been the answer to all their questions. People don’t usually avoid alcohol that much for no reason.

“I got hooked on oxytocin when I was a teenager, went to rehab and got clean around the time I met Alex,” TK explained. “When he told me, he loved someone else I relapsed, I Od’d and almost died, that’s part of the reason we moved here, fresh start.”

“Jesus kid, that’s rough,” Judd replied, realising the kid had been through a lot. “And that’s why you don’t drink?”

“Yeah, it’s all the same. Drugs and alcohol, it’s best to avoid them all together.”

“So, you think because you had a drink tonight, your dad’s gonna be upset?”

TK nodded, more tears falling. “I’m such a disappointment.”

“That’s not true.”

“You know the first thing I wanted when I hung up with Alex?” TK cried. “Oxy. I knew that would make me feel better. Even though I knew it was bad for me.”

“TK, that’s what addiction is. When times are tough that’s what you want, doesn’t mean you have to have it.”

“There weren’t any pills nearby, so I chose the closest thing, whiskey.”

“Did you drink the whole bottle?” Judd asked.

“No.”

“Why not? Surely you wanted to?”

“I stopped myself.”

“You stopped yourself. That makes you strong kid not weak. Then you came to me because you knew you shouldn’t be by yourself. TK, your dad isn’t gonna be disappointed.”

TK mulled over what Judd had said, he knew deep down that he was right, he had stopped himself when he hadn’t in the past, that must count for something. Unfortunately, he was too emotional and tired to think logically so he was still internally beating himself up, no matter what Judd and his brain were telling him.

“Why don’t you have a shower and I’ll find you some clothes to wear,” Judd said, getting up and motioning for TK to do the same. “Then I think you should get some sleep.”

TK allowed himself to be led to the bathroom, thanking Judd when he gave him some clothes, he got himself undressed and under the hot spray, praying that it made him feel better.

“I could kill that guy!” Judd exclaimed, pacing in the kitchen.

“Probably best not to,” Grace replied, not knowing who her husband was referring to. “Someone upset TK?”

“His ex-Alex. TK and he broke up before the Strand’s moved here.”

Grace nodded, guessing there was more to the story. Knowing that Judd would tell her as much as he could without betraying his friend’s confidence. 

“I’ll fill you in later, I need to call Owen.”

Judd took out his phone and walked into the hall, knowing that he had to call his boss even though TK might not approve.

“Judd, is everything ok?” Owen asked as soon as the phone connected.

“TK’s not hurt,” Judd said immediately, knowing that Owen would be worried. “Something did happen though.”

“Ok, what happened?”

“I’d rather not get into it over the phone,” Judd replied, knowing that was not what his friend wanted to hear. “How soon can you get back here?”

“Now I’m worried,” Owen replied. “Are you sure TK’s alright?”

“I’m not gonna lie, he’s been better. He’s staying with me and Grace so he’s not alone, but he could really use his dad.”

“I’ll be there as soon as I can,” Owen replied, hanging up.

Judd knew that he’d worried the man, especially after finding out what had happened in New York, but he also knew that TK needed him. Judd hoped that Owen would be sensible and take his time, he didn’t want him getting into an accident on the way.

Walking back into the kitchen expecting to see his wife, he was greeted to an empty room, he looked and found her in the guest room, making sure the bed was ready.

“I would have done that,” Judd said, coming into the room.

“It’s no trouble,” Grace replied. “I want TK to be comfortable.”

“Thank you. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

They smiled at each other, holding back from anything else until they were in private, not wanting TK to walk in on them kissing. A minute later and the shower shut off, a sleepy looking TK walking into the bedroom looking a little lost.

“You get some sleep and don’t hesitate to call out if you need anything,” Judd said, walking past TK towards the door.

“Are you sure I shouldn’t go home?” TK asked, convinced that he was in the way.

“Don’t talk stupid,” Judd replied, adding something kinder before he left. “You’re always welcome here kiddo, you’re family.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for all the kudos. Would it be asking too much to get a couple of comments? It always helps with writing when I know what people are thinking. No worries if no one wants to.  
> I've decided on one more chapter after this, to add in some Carlos, will post that next week.

Tk stood for a minute staring at the now closed door, he wasn’t sure what he should do. Obviously, he needed to sleep, but he wasn’t sure that would be possible, not at the rate his thoughts were going. He’d always had trouble switching his brain off, ever since he was a kid, he’d learnt to live with it, usually his brain would slow down, and he would be able to fall asleep. Unfortunately, when he was stressed or sick that didn’t happen. It was part of the reason he’d started taking pills to begin with, they helped numb the noise.

At that moment in time he was extremely on edge, worried what he might do, worried what his dad was going to say, worried what Judd and Grace thought of him now that they knew the truth.

He started to pace, hoping that the exertion would help to tire him out. His body was 100% ready for bed, his mind had other ideas. Sometimes when he needed a distraction he would go out for a run, that wasn’t an option however, so pacing would have to do.

Soon TK began to feel his eyelids closing, his legs were wobbling, and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep on his feet. He carefully made his way over to the bed and got in, trying not to think about the fact that he was now about to relax, he didn’t want to kick his crazy brain back into gear. A few minutes later and he was asleep, hoping desperately that he stayed that way.

“You think he’ll be ok?” Judd asked his wife, as they were getting ready for bed.

“He’s a big boy, I’m sure if he needs anything he’ll sing out.”

“I’m worried.”

“I know baby, but you need to let him be,” Grace replied, pulling down the cover and getting onto the bed. “Would it be ok to explain now?”

Judd turned to look at his wife, amazed by the woman, she had no idea what was going on but she still did all she could to look after TK and be supportive.

“I told you TK split up with his boyfriend before they moved down here,” he began, joining his wife in bed.

Grace nodded. “You told me he’d been cheatin.”

“Yeah, TK proposed and then Alex told him he was in love with someone else. How can someone do that!”

Judd paused for a second, taking hold of his wife’s hand.

“What I didn’t realise until now is that TK took some pills and Od’d after it happened.”

“Oh god, did he…. Was he trying to kill himself?” Grace asked, hating that a new member of her family had been through so much.

“I don’t think so. He told me that Owen and his team found him, his heart had stopped and he almost didn’t make it,” Judd closed his eyes, not wanting to think what would have happened if TK had of died. “He told me that this wasn’t the first time. He’s an addict.”

“Did he relapse?”

Judd looked at his wife, smiling slightly, he knew she’d do the math and come to the right conclusion.

“Kinda, he didn’t take any pills, but he drank. He’s upset with himself, thinks it makes him weak!”

“What brought it on?”

“He got a call today, he’d made a reservation for him and Alex at a hotel, totally forgot, it threw him, but he was ok when he left work. When he got home, Alex called him, told him that he knew about the room and that he didn’t want it to go to waste so he was gonna use it, take along his new boyfriend.”

“No!” Grace exclaimed. “And he just decided that TK needed to know, what the hell’s the matter with him.”

“I’ve no idea, he’s lucky he lives all the way in New York!” Judd exclaimed, his free hand turning into a fist.

“Judson Ryder, that boy does not need you getting arrested on top of everything else.”

“Don’t worry, I don’t plan on doing anything. But if he even dares come anywhere near TK.”

Grace smiled, pulling her husband in for a kiss. “My hero.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes and then Judd carried on.

“TK spun out, he told me that all he could think of was taking some pills, he knew he couldn’t, so he tried the next best thing, booze.”

“Then he came here.”

“Yeah, I’m happy he felt comfortable coming here. I told him I was here if he needed me. I don’t think he would have been in a good place tomorrow if he’d been by himself.”

“He’s safe here, and I hope he knows he’s always welcome.”

Judd smiled and kissed Grace, pulling her in for a hug and then turning off the light. They laid comfortably in each other’s arms, praying that TK was as relaxed as they were.

TK opened his eyes, squinting at the sun shining through the window, his head was pounding and he knew that was due to the alcohol he’d consumed the night before. In the grand scheme of things half a bottle of whiskey wasn’t a lot but seeing as he hadn’t touched alcohol in a long time, he guessed his body wasn’t happy with him.

He lay as still as he could, closing his eyes again, wondering if he could fall back to sleep. He could here faint voices coming from the living area and guessed that Judd and Grace were already up, he had no idea what they had planned for the day and realised that he was currently interrupting those plans. They couldn’t very well do anything while TK was still there.

Pulling himself up and out of bed was a struggle but he figured the faster he got dressed and left, the better they would all be. He felt better mentally than he had the night before, he knew that he wasn’t just going to bounce back, he would have to go to a meeting and talk to his dad, maybe even call his sponsor. First he needed to get home, he didn’t relish the thought of that.

“Morning sweetie,” Grace said, moving towards him as he entered the kitchen.

“Morning,” TK replied. “I’ll um, get out of your hair. Thanks for letting me stay.”

“You will be goin no where until you’ve eaten something,” Grace answered, pointing to the breakfast bar where Judd was sitting. “Pancakes will be ready soon.”

“You don’t have to do that,” TK started, he didn’t want to put anyone out.

“Just do as you’re told kid,” Judd interrupted, pulling out a chair. “Sit. Did you sleep ok?”

TK didn’t have a choice it seemed so he did as he was told and sat down, nodding at Judd’s question, sipping the juice that was put before him. He winced when he turned his head the wrong way, he hoped that the headache would pass.

“Your head hurt?” Judd asked, noticing the wince.

“It’s fine.”

“I didn’t ask if it was fine, I asked if your head hurt,” Judd exclaimed, shaking his head and getting up.

When he returned he put two pills in TK’s hand. “Tylenol ok?”

“Thanks,” TK replied, downing the pills with some of the juice. Smiling when Grace came over with his pancakes.

They all sat and ate, casual conversation about mundane things filled the room, no one wanted to broach the subject of why TK was there. As soon as everyone had finished Judd got up and cleared the plates, turning back to his guest when they were in the dishwasher.

“You feelin better TK?” Judd asked, knowing that they would have to talk about things eventually.

“I’m good, thanks for the food and the bed.”

“You’re welcome here any time TK,” Grace replied, putting her hand over his.

TK bit his lip, he wasn’t used to people being so nice to him after he’d messed up, except his dad, he didn’t think he deserved it. He got up abruptly, removing his hand and heading towards the door.

“I should go, I’m sure you’ve got plans.”

“Hey TK hold on,” Judd said, approaching his friend carefully. “I don’t think you should be by yourself right now.”

“I’m ok,” TK replied. “I won’t do anything stupid again.”

“I never said you would. I just don’t think it’s wise for you to be alone.”

TK hovered in the doorway, he didn’t want to be rude, but he knew that he was being a burden, Judd and Grace didn’t need that, no matter what they might say. He turned and pulled the door open, wanting to hurry so he didn’t change his mind. He came face to face with his dad.

“TK,” Owen said, not expecting to see his son before he’d even knocked.

“Dad?” TK questioned, not sure how his dad was standing in front of him.

“You going somewhere?” Owen replied, smiling, looking his son up and down to see what might have happened.

TK froze, he didn’t know what to say, a million thoughts came to his mind at the same time and he couldn’t grasp any of them. Instead he burst into tears, his father immediately reaching out for him.

“Hey TK, it’s ok,” Owen said, squeezing his son tightly. “Whatever happened it’s ok, we’ll deal with it.”

They stood there for a minute and then Owen pulled his son inside, conscious of the fact that they were standing on the doorstep, in view of anyone that might come past. Once inside he nodded to Judd and Grace, hating that they were involved in whatever had happened.

“Let’s sit down,” Owen said, helping TK to the living room. “You wanna tell me what happened?”

TK shook his head, he didn’t want to see the disappointment in his dad’s face, didn’t want to hear the words he knew he would say. He was content to just have his dad with him, praying that he could stay in his little bubble forever.

“Ok, we don’t have to talk just yet,” Owen replied, sitting back and bringing his son with him. “Let’s just sit for a minute.”

Judd and Grace left the room to give them some space, hoping that TK would tell Owen what had happened. It was a little awkward for them, not knowing what they two men would need.

After some time had passed and TK had stopped crying he sat up, ready to tell his father everything. Turning away and resting his elbows on his knees TK began to talk, starting with the call from the hotel. Owen sat patiently through TK’s speech, knowing that his son would find it easier if there were no interruptions. He hated that his son was getting reminders of his time with Alex, especially as he was starting to feel more like himself.

TK paused after he told his dad about what Alex had said, knowing that the next bit would be the hardest. He spoke quietly, telling Owen about the thoughts he’d had, about finding the Whiskey and drinking it. He told him how sorry he was and that he hated himself for disappointing him.

“Woah TK, you can’t talk like that,” Owen said, hearing his son say horrible things about himself was heart-breaking. “I’m not gonna lie and say I’m happy you felt you had to drink, but I do not want to hear you tell me you hate yourself. It took a lot of strength to stop drinking and come here to Judd, it took a lot of strength to not go out looking for pills. I’m proud of you TK.”

TK whipped his head around so fast he thought it would fall off, he can’t have heard correctly, his dad was proud of him. The tears fall again, and he was shaking his head.

“Yes, I am. We knew this wasn’t going to be easy, we knew there was a chance that you’d relapse again. I’ve been praying that everything would turn out for the best now that we’re away from New York but I’m not an idiot. I know recovery takes time and there are setbacks. This TK, this is a small setback that we can handle. I don’t want you getting so worked up about this that it causes you to spiral and potentially make it worse.”

TK stared at his dad taking in his words, not believing that he wasn’t angry or disappointed, he knew everything his dad was saying was true, recovery was tough, he had to be on the top of his game at all times to stop himself from relapsing. He had fallen the night before, but he had gotten back up and his dad was right. If he kept thinking the way he was there was a chance that it would cause him to want to get high just to stop the thoughts in his head.

Obviously, he couldn’t just flip a switch and be ok, but he hoped that with his dad’s help that he could get past this slip up and get back on track. He closed his eyes and leaned against his dad, soaking in his warmth and love and feeling not necessarily ok, but better than he had been.

Not too long later Judd came back into the room to check that his friends were ok.

“Thank you for letting him stay,” Owen said, getting up and pulling Judd in for a hug.

“It ain’t a problem, TK’s welcome here anytime.”

“We’ll get out of your hair now,” Owen replied, motioning for his son to follow him out. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”  
“Yeah Cap, see you tomorrow. Let us know if you need anything,” Judd answered, walking to the door with the two men.

“We will.”  
Once the Strands were gone, Grace came out from the bedroom to check on her husband, she knew that when any of his team were in trouble he would always help. Since losing the last members of the 126 he was extra protective of his new family, knowing that TK was hurting had to be affecting him.

“You good Judd?”

“Yeah, TK’s with his dad, he seemed ok, so I think it’s best if I leave them to it. There’s nothing I can do anyway,” Judd replied, sitting down at the dining table.

“It’s gotta be hard hearing about what TK went through in New York,” Grace said. “You had know idea?”

“We figured something had happened, he avoids alcohol like the plague and it always just seemed a bit strange. None of us knew the reason though and we didn’t wanna ask.”

Grace nodded, she understood even between teammates there were boundaries. She joined Judd at the table and took his hand.

“At least now you know, you’ll be able to keep a better eye on him.”

“Yeah, believe me I will. I just hope he tells the others. It’ll be odd knowing about it when they don’t.”

“I’m sure he will, just give him a bit of time.”

Judd nodded, knowing that his wife was right, they sat for a few more minutes and then went about their day, TK never far in Judd’s thoughts.

As soon as Owen walked into the house he went to find the alcohol that he had, taking it to the kitchen and pouring it out.

“Dad you don’t have to do that!” TK exclaimed, reaching over to stop him.

“I should never have brought it in to begin with. I’d rather pour it all out than risk you being tempted again.”

“While I appreciate that, there are plenty of other ways to get alcohol if I was really desperate,” Tk replied, sitting onto the kitchen counter.

“You’re not going to change my mind TK. If you need to look for booze at least there’s a chance you’ll change your mind before you get to it, if it’s here then all bets are off.”

TK sighed knowing that his dad was right, he hated that his problem was affecting different people, he didn’t want to have to burden anyone with his problems and he certainly didn’t want his dad to miss out on a drink because of him.

Speaking of being a burden, he’d noticed he had several texts and a missed call from Carlos, he really wanted to call him back and have him take his troubles away. But TK knew that wasn’t fair, Carlos deserved better, he’d already been arrested and now had a small relapse, there was no telling what might happen next, best to cut Carlos off as soon as he could, it was for his own good, TK just hoped he saw it that way.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the late update. Hope you enjoy

If TK thought he could avoid Carlos he was out of luck, no more than an hour after arriving home there was a knock at the door. TK turned to see who it was as his dad answered, biting his lip when he saw who it was.

“Officer Reyes,” Owen said, unsure why the man was on his porch.

“Captain Strand, is TK home?” Carlos replied, trying not to look past the man to see for himself.

“Now’s not a good time,” Owen answered, getting ready to shut the door. “I’ll have him call you.”

“Dad it’s ok,” TK called, knowing that he should get the talk out of the way.

Owen turned to look at his son, not sure what was happening, he stepped aside and let Carlos in shutting the door behind him.

“I’ll be in my room if you need me,” Owen said, not wanting to intrude on his son’s conversation.

“Thanks dad,” TK replied, getting up to greet Carlos. “Hey.”

“Hey yourself, I got worried when I didn’t hear from you,” Carlos answered, coming closer.

“I’m sorry, I turned my phone off, I only just saw your messages.”

“Is something wrong?”

TK sighed and closed his eyes, preparing himself for another conversation he really didn’t want to have, but knowing that Carlos deserved the truth.

“Can we sit down?” TK asked, heading to the living room.

Carlos followed, sitting beside the man and giving him his full attention.

“Something happened yesterday and my world kinda went grey again,” TK said, hoping Carlos would understand what that meant.

“Did you do something stupid again?” Carlos asked, knowing what had happened the last time TK had spoken to him about the world being grey.

“I didn’t get into a fight if that’s what you’re asking,” TK replied, looking away. “It was worse, I relapsed.”

“May I ask why?” Carlos asked, after pausing to take in what TK had said.

“A combination of calls from New York, the last being from Alex. I couldn’t handle it so I turned to something that would make me numb.”

“Why didn’t you call me?”

TK sighed, turning to look at Carlos. “I didn’t wanna burden you with my crap.”

“TK,” Carlos started.

“No Carlos, you don’t deserve to have me call you frantic because I wanna take drugs, so frantic that I find the only bottle of alcohol in the house and almost drink the whole thing. We’re not together, we’re not family, we’re not anything.”

Carlos sat there and listened, standing when TK spoke those last words.

“I get it, I shouldn’t have assumed because I was worried about you that you’d want me here, my feelings have nothing to do with you. I’ll go.”

“Carlos,” TK said, desperately wanting to stop the man.

“You don’t have to explain TK, you obviously don’t have any feelings for me,” Carlos replied. “I won’t bother you again.”

TK watched the guy he was secretly in love with walk out of the room, he wanted so badly to leap up and follow him, tell him that he was sorry that he didn’t mean any of what he’d said. Beg him not to go, ask him to hold him and kiss him and stay with him. But he didn’t do any of those things, he sat there and let Carlos walk away, it was for the best, the man deserved better than TK.

Ten minutes later TK was still sitting on the couch, his knees brought up, his arms wrapped around them. He was shaking slightly, not sure what to do. His brain was going a mile a minute, part of it wanted to leave the house immediately in search of drugs or booze, part of it wanted to run after Carlos and bring him back. Neither of those things were going to happen which was why he was such a mess. He needed a distraction; he needed his dad.

“TK, has Carlos gone?” Owen asked, coming into the living room as if reading his son’s mind.

TK nodded, not trusting himself to speak.

“Did something happen?”

TK closed his eyes and didn’t reply, Owen taking that as a sign that something did in fact happen and that it wasn’t good. He moved to sit next to his son, grabbing a blanket on the way, pulling it around TK and then putting his arm around him too.

TK sank into his dad’s embrace, pulling the blanket tightly around him, wanting desperately for his brain to switch off and his body to relax.

“Everything will be ok,” Owen started, pulling TK closer. “You just need to relax. We can sit here for as long as you like, I don’t have anywhere to be.”

TK let himself sink, the shaking stopping and his breathing evening out after a few minutes. He knew that his dad would want him to talk eventually but he was content at that moment to just be quiet and feel his dad’s presence.

Owen sat back and got comfortable, knowing that TK would fall asleep once his body relaxed enough, he wanted to know what had happened with Carlos but knew that TK wouldn’t tell him until he was ready. A few minutes passed and he heard his son’s breathing even out, he would let him sleep for a while and then they would talk.

An hour later TK sat up, slightly confused as to where he was, it taking a minute for it all to come back to him.

“Do you feel better?” his dad asked.

“I guess,” TK replied, knowing that wasn’t really an answer. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

“No apologies necessary, your body obviously needed it,” Owen said, getting up and heading to the kitchen.

TK followed, drinking the water that his dad handed him, sitting at the counter.

“Do you wanna tell me what happened with Carlos?”

“Nothing.”

Owen stood with his eyebrows raised. “You wanna try that again.”

“I guess we had a fight, he shouldn’t be around me right now and I kinda pushed him away.”

“Does he make you happy?” Owen asked, guessing that the two of them had been seeing each other.

“That doesn’t matter.”

“Of course it matters TK, if he makes you happy then he should be in your life.”

“My life is too screwed up right now, he deserves better.”

“TK,” Owen began, coming around to stand next to his son. “I’m not going to pretend that your life isn’t complicated, or even say that I think you should be in a relationship right now. But what I will say is that Carlos deserves to choose for himself if he stays or goes, you shouldn’t be deciding for him.”

TK listened to his dad, knowing deep down that he was right, knowing that he owed it to Carlos to decided for himself if he wanted to hang around.

“First though you need to ring your sponsor,” Owen said. “Talking to her might help.”

TK nodded, getting out his phone, he planned to go to a meeting, and he knew that calling his sponsor was a good idea too.

“Thanks for coming,” TK said, opening the door and letting Carlos walk in. “I wouldn’t have been surprised if you’d have ignored my calls.”

“I thought it only fair to hear you out, you sounded a little desperate on the phone,” Carlos replied. “Honestly, I was worried.”

“What I said earlier, it came out all wrong,” TK said, sitting down and motioning for Carlos to do the same. “I spoke to my dad and my sponsor, both of them told me I wasn’t fair to you.”

“Go on.”

“I’m a mess Carlos, one minute everything seems to be going great and I think there’s light at the end of the tunnel, the next minute everything is too loud and grey, and I feel like the world isn’t turning properly. You shouldn’t have to deal with any of that.”

Carlos sat and listened, thinking for a minute before replying. “TK, when you care about someone you care in the good times and the bad. It doesn’t matter what the situation, you do all you can to be there and support the person, whether they are a friend or something more.”

“I feel like a burden Carlos and that everyone has to pretend they’re walking on eggshells when they’re around me. My dad has to do it, you don’t.”

“Your dad loves you and would do anything for you,” Carlos said. “As for me, I care about you a lot TK, I’m happy to be there when you need me, good or bad.”

“You promise to tell me if it gets too much?”

“It won’t, but I promise.”

TK smiled, pleased that Carlos had decided to listen to him and that he hadn’t driven him away. He moved a little closer, not wanting to instigate something that Carlos didn’t want.

Carlos was relieved that TK had called him, and they’d had a conversation, it would have been difficult to see him around town and not be with him, the feelings he had were stronger than he’d ever had in such a short space of time. Carlos smiled when he saw TK edging forward knowing what he wanted. Knowing that Captain Strand was in the other room Carlos met TK halfway and pulled him close, kissing him carefully and then more fiercely.

TK desperately wanted to take Carlos’s clothes off but stopped himself, not wanting that image scored into his dad’s memory. For the moment he was content to sit on the couch with Carlos snug against him, anything else could wait til later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments appreciated :-)


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